good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity. -Nat Turner

hacks : how to improve social interaction

I don’t say I am an expert. In fact, I am no good at all at communicating, or worse, interacting.

Based on a fun quiz of the same topic I took on Facebook out of 25 questions, my result is

“You are doing okay.”

It happened to be sometimes I say something completely different from what I think of. Still do the learning with real people though 🙂

“To communicate is to be able to tell the other what’s on your mind without fighting or arguing.”

Here are the best hacks I got from multiple resources.

  • Say “Excuse me” instead of “Hi” to start a conversation. 

It feels awkward approaching a stranger to say, “Hi.” If you change “hi” to “excuse me,” then it will feel easier to start and continue a conversation. Why?
Excuse me” literally gives you a non-existent excuse to start a conversation. The phrase makes you feel like you have a reason to talk even when you don’t. “Hi” does not. By using “excuse me” rather than “hi,” you’ll get out of your comfort zone faster and talk to more people. As a result, if you work as a salesperson, you’ll close more deals. (read more)

  • Find a common interest.

You will have more confidence talking about subjects that you are familiar with. Try and see if you and the person you are speaking to have something in common. Finding out that you both are passionate about golf makes a conversation exponentially easier. (read more)

  • Waiting 3 full seconds before responding to anyone to give yourself an opportunity to think before you speak.

Confident people have faith that whoever they are talking to will patiently wait for their response. They don’t feel the need to rush and respond out of fear that the person they are talking to will lose interest. (read more)

  • People want 3 things out of what they give their time and attention to.

They want to be entertained, informed, and feel good about themselves. (read more).

  • Yes, people will mostly remember not what you said but how you made them feel.

Also, most people like talking about themselves so ask lots of questions about them. (read more)

  • Learn more Body Language tricks like :

✔️   Lots of eye contact (listening = connection)
✔️   Repeat their name in conversation (names = good feelings)
✔️   Turn your head slowly if someone calls your name (turning your head quickly shows eagerness)
✔️   Walk slowly (you are important, no one is rushing you anywhere)
✔️   Don’t fidget (shows you are nervous)
✔️   Don’t touch your face (nervousness)
✔️   Don’t bite your lips (nervousness)
✔️   Hold your shoulders back (shows power)
✔️   Don’t brush lint off your clothes (shows insecurity)
✔️   Respond to text 1 1/2 the time it took for them to respond. (you are busy)
✔️   Associate with other confident people (makes you confident)
(read more)

  • Don’t forget to soften your gaze.

When you first meet people try to notice their eye color while also smiling at them. It might be because you look for a second or two longer, but all I can tell you is that people really respond to it. (read more)

  • We can help to create magical connections simply by elevating the language we use from the phatic to the peak level.

✔️   Phatic : These statements have no emotional content: “How are you?”
✔️   Factual : These share information, maybe personal information, but no strong opinions or emotions are involved: “I live in Jakarta.”
✔️   Evaluative : These statements show opinions, but they’re not core beliefs: “That movie was really funny.”
✔️   Gut-level : Gut-level communication is emotionally based. It’s personal, says something deeper about who you are and is focused on feelings: “I’m sad that you’re not here.”
✔️   Peak : The most emotionally vulnerable level. Peak statements share your innermost feelings. These statements are rare, even with people we are very close to: “I guess at heart I’m terrified I’m going to lose you.” (read more)

  • Say “yes” to dinner invitations -or to any invitations.

Take it as an opportunity to networking to keep up with the current issues. Don’t have to accept ALL invitations, keep the frequency at the stage where you are not considered as the one who’s busy all the time. Do take a note; when you reject invitations, people will stop inviting and before you know it, you are excluded from the group. If it’s okay with you, go ahead then.

  • Spot people’s sympathies when they laugh.

Whenever you are standing in a group and laughter breaks out, it is a golden chance for you to see who likes you the most. Typically, each one in the group will instinctively glance at that particular individual that they like/trust the most in the group. This hack is not only helpful to spot people whom you are sympathetic, but also a nice way of figuring out who is secretly in a relationship or having a deep affection for each other. (read more)

“To communicate is to be able to tell the other what’s on your mind without fighting or arguing.”

Will be added more if I found another  🙂


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