the new friendship.

When you are 24 years old, it’s hard to make friends.

Because once you know their weaknesses, you are no longer want to deal with them. You can’t take them for who they are.

Because you are too comfortable with your lifestyle, can’t adjust with theirs.

Because you think you are better than them, smarter than them, kinder than them.

Because you expect something in return. Someday I’m going to be needing his help, you think.

Because you subconsciously select your circle, a successful, smart, and elite circle.

Because once you label someone’s as toxic, you avoid that toxic to protect yourselves of being hurt.

Because you are too old to fake, meaningless friendship.

But also, probably just because you already have best friends since ages, they are the most lovable persons, they know you, the real you,  they don’t give a damn with your madness, they forgive you easily, they are imperfect but you get to used with it, they are the reason you laugh at our phone.

To someone like me, new friendship is just overrated. I like the old ones.


he is one level up.


Do you know that I love you?

I love you means I want the best for you.

Even when you like Uncle Scrooge and I like Minnie Mouse.

Even when you want to focus on something but I want to talk to you.

Even when you want the tasties and I want the healthies.

Even when you prefer mountains and I prefer beaches.

Even when you want to do something productive but I want more sleep.

Even when you feel hot and I feel cold.

Even when you want to watch Naruto and I want to watch something else.

Even when you and I get stressed out due to work.

Even when you and I pick the same case color of Chacha.

Even when you and I busy with our phone side by side.

Even when you and I fight.

Even when you and I don’t think we are at fault.

Even when our ‘best’ is two different definitions.

Even when it’s hard to love each other at times.

I just realized how strong our compromises are.

I am forever be grateful for having the best Boyfriend ever.

A wish to you this year :
I hope whatever you decide on everything in life, big or small, I hope they will lead you to a better path, better you.:)

Happy 26th Birthday, sayangku.
You are now one level up!

Selamat berbahagia dan sehat-sehat ya.
Tuhan berkati dan sertai selalu.

I love you.





I should have sent this right on 01:00 am (00:00 in his current time-zone), but I was overslept! My alarm wasn’t working. Guilty! So I form this when I woke up at 03:00, an hour later it’s done, sent it, wash my face and back to sleep.








reasons why someone should not date me.

The question is actually asked by someone on Quora. I want to answer that here.

  1. I am too shy to start conversation.

    I was born introvert, I hate small-talk. It is just too confusing to say hi, ask something that nothing to do with me and probably just pass by my ears. I’d rather smile sincerely, raise my hand, and bye-byeing. I create awkward moments every time I meet someone I’d like to spend time with, I sounded happy to meet them, but in time I sounded happier to say goodbye to them.

  2. I made up words.

    Backing up my first reason, I find it hard to explain something. I would just made up words. Some people will get it, some people will ask to clarify what I mean, and some other people understand those words I said but still going to ask just to annoy me.

  3. I love random things.

    You will find me liking beach, museums, bridges, lip balms, white shoes, and calendars. Or you will interest me with Philosophy, Literature, Accounting, and Interior Design. I love exploring new things.

  4. I am impulsive.

    I would be totally uninterested in the topics, or immensely obsessed with it. When I am obsessed, I would do my best to get it done by myself.

  5. I live in the present.

    I seldom going out with my friends. But when I do, I will not checking my phone all the time. If you are texting with me at the time, you might feel like being ignored, sorry. I respect the people who are talking to me. I’d text when the topic is ended.

  6. I have a phone-call anxiety.

    Yep. I only have 5 names on the list that I will always pick the calls up. I am better at texting, so if it’s not that urgent, please, text only.

  7. I don’t have any mesmerizing talents.

    No talents at music. No talents at sports. Clearly I am just a very boring person. But if you invite me to go to gym, or swim, or karaoke, I’d be enthusiastically join the club.

  8. I messed up at times.

    Like reallyyy. If that time is coming, I might be carelessly, accidentally hurt you with my sudden motion. Or I might have short term memory loss and I’d forget everything you just said. And those time I just need to shut myself from people.

  9. I am a hopeless romantic.

    Romance-Drama and Comedy-Romance are my favorite. If you are not interested at all at the genres I mentioned before, I think you and I will not work out together.

  10. I am particularly peculiar.

    Someone transmits this habit to me. I don’t feel comfortable to borrow something from someone as much as I lend my belongings to someone. I love my space and I hope no one would tamper it.

A million thank you to Boyfriend, who dare to love me in spite of my ordinary, boring, but lovable human being.❤

i feel too deep, everything goes straight to my heart.

I’m driving through traffic. Someone cuts me off. I am furious, feel attacked. I chase this other car down. I quickly catch up to the offender and see through the window not a vicious monster but someone dancing to music, distracted, oblivious.
Maybe he was driving irresponsibly but he was most definitely not trying to cause me injury.

I arrive at my office. I walk in and say hello to the person sitting at the reception desk. She turns her head away and does not reply.
I spend the morning wondering why she might be angry at me.
Maybe she doesn’t like me.
I find out later she was wearing headphones and didn’t hear me.

I call a friend and leave yet another voice mail. I wonder why he hasn’t called me back. Clearly our relationship is not as important to him as it is to me. This fills me with sadness.
Suddenly I remember: he was going on a camping trip and has no cell phone access.

Taking things personally means interpreting that the actions of another are in relation to us when most of the time things that hurt us, insult us or worry us have nothing to do with us.

Not taking things personally means we make room for the possibility that not everything is about us.

This does not mean that things that aren’t personal don’t affect us, because they do. It means that we take the blow differently because our emotions are not all wrapped up in what happened.
This is important because by setting our ego aside we fight less, get angry less, feel offended less, suffer less.

What does it mean to ”take things personally”? answer by Dushka Zapata on Quora (click here)

It was raining last night. I begged Boyfriend to drive me home and left my motorbike. In as much as I like the rainy dreamy nighty atmosphere.

Boyfriend was working on a huge project; he will be instructor-ing in two days. In preparation, he was studying the materials, watching related videos, making presentation. Looked like the rain was not going to stop in any minutes, he agreed.

When the car was coming near my house, I told him to make a u-turn before I got off (my house located at a blind alley). It was not what he usually does, so we had small squabble. I get off. I closed the door. And I heard him, complaining.
From the window, I saw him pointing a tissue left behind on my seat.

I rolled my eyes and opened the door, took the tissue, hurriedly went inside. Though I love water, I do not like when it is mingling with coldness, touches my skin.

Cannot he trash it by himself?

It was just a crumpled tissue.

It was not a big deal.

He did not have to do that.

He likes to see me soaked.

It took me a few minutes to get over myself.
I realized that he was sensitive about my tissues problem since ages ago. That he was not meant to get me soaked in the not-so-heavy rain. That I was wrong.

I am working on it;

Not to being oversensitive.

Anything DOES NOT have to revolve around me.

Thank you, for pausing your work and taking me home safely.

thank you for reminding me how butterflies feel like.

People pass around.

A police officer explain the route to a grandma with a young woman queuing behind her, confused. An old man walk on the sideways, hold his daughter tightly with his left hand. A lady, half run to catch her line.

Boyfriend still carries my hand, we quickly step to enter one of the train’s door.
Thank God, the line we are on is not too crowded. A little bit of airy, despite no seat looks available.

Releases my hands, he gives me a sign to find available seat at the female wagon. But I just too scared to break though the huddle, too afraid that I would lost.
Instead, I walk to a less crowded room, trying no to fall, or stumble by my off shoelaces, totally bet my body mass on the hand strap.

I relieve to know he follows me to the halfway of the wagon, to where I am standing.
Moments later, I find him lower his back ahead me, ties up my shoelaces.

Boyfriend is not that romantic type of guy, so it is kind of startled me.
He might did not know this, but I adore him in every simple unexpected way he does. Thank you.