about losing.

Just read an article on Quora about rejection (read here),

“The best thing to say after someone rejects you is “thank you“.
Time is too valuable to waste.”

ended up google the mentioned letter.

New York
November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.



John Steinbeck (1902-1968), a letter to his son



you are not your age,
nor the size of clothes you wear

you are not a weight,
or the colour of your hair

you are not your name,
or the dimples in your cheeks

you are all the books you read,
and all the words you speak

you are your croaky morning voice,
and the smiles you try to hide

you’re the sweetness in your laughter,
and every tear you’ve cried

you’re the songs you sing so loudly,
when you know you’re all alone

you’re the places that you’ve been to,
and the one that you call home

you’re the things that you believe in,
and the people that you love

you’re the photos in your bedroom,
and the future you’re dream of

you’re made of so much beauty,
but it seems that you forgot

when you decided that you were defined,
by all the things you’re not.



never trust a mirror

for mirror always lies

it makes you think that all you’re worth

can be seen from the outside


never trust a mirror

it only shows you what skin’s deep

you can’t see how your eyelids flutter

when you’re drifting off to sleep

it doesn’t show you that the world sees

when you’re only being you

or how your eyes just light up

when you’re loving what you do

it doesn’t capture when you’re smiling

where no-one else can see

and your reflection cannot tell you

everything you mean to me


never trust a mirror

for it only shows your skin

and if you think it dictates your worth

it’s time to look within